Why do men have mid-life crises?

BUYING a Porsche, dating a 20-something blonde . . . the symptoms of the male mid-life crisis have become a common source of amusement. But for local men, it seems that the mid life crisis is starting to hit worryingly early. . .

WE have all laughed at them in the street or in the gossip columns - the 50-something man accompanied by a young blonde who surely is not his daughter, sporting all the latest designer labels and a slightly desperate expression.

Yes, it is the mid-life crisis, and it is a favourite plot feature of scriptwriters who create rom-coms for a more "mature" audience - has anyone seen Jack Nicholson in Something's Gotta Give?

But for men in Manchester and the North-west is seems that mid-life crises are kicking in earlier than ever before, with the majority saying they start to panic about their lost youth from 35 onwards, according to a new study.

Adlington-based psychologist Tom Phillips says: "The essential reason is that it's something that they wanted to do when they were young and somehow didn't do it, they put it off - that's the usual reason why people do these things.

"For example, there's a well-known syndrome of men getting Harley Davidsons, isn't there?

"I suppose basically your life can be structured, to have first the nurturing, then the bringing up of children, and when that's over you start to wonder where you go next and that's when you can take your foot off the pedal and start looking at bits of you that were not developed earlier on.

"So it can be a form of discovery that there are parts of your self that are relatively underdeveloped, and they need a bit of an outing."

Nearly half of Mancunian men said the urge to change their lives was strongest at 35, the highest percentage from across the UK.

And they also admit to collectively spending millions of pounds annually on lotions, potions, botox and sex aids to make them look and feel younger - so much for women being the ones who are obsessed with looking good!

One in five Mancunian men also admit to lying about their real age.

And it reflects a national trend with British blokes now forking out a total of £24 billion every year to turn back the clock as mid-life crises begin to kick in earlier than ever before, says the research, which was commissioned to launch the Disney DVD of Wild Hogs, which features four middle-aged men on a road trip in a bid to re-gain their inner rebels.

The national research shows men aged between 30 and 49 are spending an average of £3,000 each and anything up to £16,000 per annum on everything from botox injections and holidays to trendy clothes and cool gadgets in an effort to reclaim their youth.

The research shows that dream chasing holidays are the most popular extravagances, costing £1,340 a year, followed by cool gadgets (£295) and beauty products such as anti-ageing creams (£285).

More drastic measures include cosmetic procedures such as botox, hair weaves and teeth whitening, which are costing men up to £2,410 a year, and Viagra and sex aids to perk up their libidos which they are each funding to the tune of up to £712.

The research also revealed when mid-life crises were most likely to kick in and why. Over a third of those surveyed (34.5 per cent) said the fear is hitting in their mid-30s.

Around half (43.7 per cent) feel that they needed to make a change because they became conscious of getting older and not achieving all they wanted to.

When given the option of altering anything in their lives, the majority of men (31.9 per cent) would rather change careers completely and retrain in another field, book a once in a lifetime holiday (12.3 per cent) or take up a new, challenging hobby (11.2 per cent).

Just 4.6 per cent of the men surveyed would actively seek out a younger, more attractive partner to give themselves an ego boost. Only 2.9 per cent would find solace in a sports car to update their look.

Tom said: "It's curious. I think these days jobs and careers are fairly well structured so you can be straight into your career if you're good at something, and the employer very often will develop your talent very quickly.

"Certainly there's an emphasis on youth. We're very efficient now in our management systems and our development of careers, which means they're much better at getting the best from the resources they've got.

"It used to take people years to inherit some big job, whereas now if you've got talent you can get spotted very quickly. That means that you can get burnt out a bit sooner, and therefore you've got the syndrome of the mid-life crisis."

And when that burn-out happens, these men need to take time to discover parts of themselves that may have otherwise remained latent, Tom says.

"I think the real angle is that when we get to adulthood we're a big mess of things and we very often have to suppress some of these parts of ourselves but can't express them because we want to go in a particular direction.

"So if you want to go in to teaching - as I did - for example, you have to forget about all your other wild things and stick with the teaching. And then when you leave that and you want to do something a bit wilder you can do it.

"The other part, of course, is that people can have crises because they lose meaning, they can't find meaning any more in their lives - things fall apart.

"I think it's a pretty understandable thing, and I think it's a good thing because it allows you to get distance from a difficult marriage, for example. Or a job that you're not loving, and with a bit of distance you can reflect on it all and maybe realise that there are certain things missing from your life."

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